Dear Families and Friends,
All of us at VOICES send our warm wishes for a holiday season filled with the precious gifts of special friendships, the joy of family times together and the blessing of happy memories.
May you and your family have a wonderful holiday surrounded by family and friends and a happy and healthy New Year filled with renewed hope! Our offices will be closed the remainder of December and reopen on Tuesday, January 3. We look forward to working with you in 2012!
Warm Regards
Mary Fetchet & The VOICES Staff |
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Christmas Eve Mass at the World Trade Center Site |
Father Brian Jordan will celebrate the Last Midnight Mass on December 24, 2011. The congregation will gather at 11:30pm on the steps of Brooks Brothers store, on Church Street across from the 9/11 Memorial at the World Trade Center site. Midnight Mass will begin at Midnight. All are welcome to join.
As background information, Father Jordan has held a Midnight Mass at the World Trade Center site since December 2001. In recognition of the 10th anniversary, Father Jordan will conclude this year with the Last Midnight Mass at Ground Zero. |
Movie Opening Raise Concerns of Some Family Members |
Over the holidays "Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close," a film starring Tom Hanks is being released about a child who lost his father in the attacks on the World Trade Center. While we recognize the quality of the film and the heartwarming message of the story, several family members have contacted our office after viewing the trailer, suggesting that we notify our membership to prepare them. One note said,
"The trailer hit so close to home for me and I was totally unprepared for it. I tried to reach my daughter to tell her about it but she happened to be in a movie theater that had just shown the preview. She also wasn't prepared for it. I realize that ten years out we will begin to see more and more of things relating to the attacks. I'm only asking that we are able to prepare for it." She went on to say, that the similarities of the characters in the film caused both her and her daughter to relive the horror of their own personal experience that day.
Recognizing that the holiday season is a time when we remember our loved ones, we realize the release of the film may exacerbate these feelings of loss and the hopelessness and uncertainty we all felt that day. Taking this into consideration, we hope we have provided you with the opportunity to prepare yourself and your family, especially your children. For some that might mean staying away from movie theatres over the holidays, for others it might be discussing with your children about their personal feelings and how to avoid situations that are stressful for them.
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By Dr. Robin F. Goodman, former VOICES Director of Family Programs
The winter holidays seem to follow fast on the heels of the September 11th anniversary. Like many occasions, they can be an exciting time for some and a challenging one for others. There are an abundance of public reminders about the holidays - at places of worship, in shopping malls, in the mail, at school, and at work - that may trigger thoughts of holidays past. Whether you celebrate Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa, there is a private aspect to every holiday that should be honored and those impacted by 9/11 should do what feels best. Whether the holidays are particularly difficult because they are upsetting, or if you are feeling hopeful but stressed because they are hectic,here are some suggestions for getting through the season:
Plan ahead: Making plans for the holidays requires thinking back to what has and has not worked in the past and what you might want to do differently. Often the biggest hurdle to overcome is just starting. Making even a small plan can be a relief and get things going.
Pace yourself: The holidays are often more than one day - there are parties, gifts, gatherings, travel, religious services. Choose what you want to do and what you feel good about doing.
Be forgiving: Once decisions are made you should feel confident in your choices. If plans change, if you change your mind, or if things don't work out, be forgiving of yourself and others.
Be accepting: Individuals manage the holidays, stress, and their 9/11 related feelings in different ways. People also express their feelings in different ways and how they present on the outside may not be how they truly feel on the inside. Relationships also evolve and change over time, so what worked when children were small, or when extended family were near by, may need to be revised.
Keep expectations real: Everyone's situation is different and reality is likely different from the perfect holidays portrayed on television and in movies. Decide and visualize what you will do for certain activities and what will happen; from who cooks to how people get along. Have realistic goals - go to one party, decorate store bought cookies, schedule one fun holiday activity with the kids.
Involve others: Give everyone a chance to talk about how they are feeling, what is most important, and what they want to do for the holidays - kids included. Make plans together, ideally leaving some room for individual preferences. Enlist your support system to help with activities you predict will be difficult. Accept help - you get what you need and you let someone else feel good about giving.
Find a calm zone: All the rushing and commitments can take its toll. Know when and how to take a break. Activities that allow you to recharge should be a priority - scented candles, tea with a friend, keeping to an exercise schedule, not answering the phone, are some of the many ways to manage stress, handle difficult feelings, and feel more in control.
Help kids: Parents should find ways to balance children and teens' participation in festive activities with everyday routine. Keep in mind that children of all ages need and appreciate gifts of time and attention too. Remember to help children give to others as well.
Create and maintain meaning: Think about what to maintain while respecting everyone's wishes. Repeating either some or all of previous traditions can be comforting. But creating and establishing new ones can be helpful at times. Consider ways to embrace the past, perhaps with a retelling of favorite stories, eating favorite foods, or visiting favorite places as a way to acknowledge someone special. Helping others in need can also add valuable meaning at holiday time.
Give thanks for small or large accomplishments you and your family have made this year. Reflect on what and who has helped you get through rough times in the past and envision wishes for joyous times ahead. |
9/11 Living Memorial Appointments |
In January, we will be resuming our 9/11 Living Memorial Workshops
| New Canaan, Connecticut |
Date:
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Monday - Friday |
| Time: |
10:00am to 5:00pm by Appointment |
Location:
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VOICES New Canaan
161 Cherry Street
New Canaan, CT |
New Brunswick, New Jersey |
Date:
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Monday - Thursday |
| Time: |
9:00am to 5:00pm by Appointment |
Location:
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VOICES New Brunswick
84 Albany Street
New Brunswick, NJ |
New York, New York |
Date:
|
Tuesday, January 10th |
| Time: |
10:00am to 6:00pm by Appointment |
Location:
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Cantor Fitzgerald
499 Park Avenue
New York, NY |
New York, New York |
Date:
|
Tuesday, January 24th |
| Time: |
10:00am to 6:00pm by Appointment |
Location:
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Cantor Fitzgerald
499 Park Avenue
New York, NY |
New York, New York |
Date:
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Thursday, February 9th |
| Time: |
10:00am to 4:00pm by Appointment |
Location:
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Fred Alger & Company, Inc.
111 5th Avenue, 2nd Floor
New York, NY |
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